Being content

This post is going to be painfully real. I am not one to share alot of deep feelings so this is hard for me. But I know I need to get it out.
When Chadd and I got married i knew we would live in huntingburg, he already owned the house and I was ok with it. At first it was ok, i babysat during the day and we got sucked into helping ALOT at churcg so we were busy. I was not really content here but I pushed the thoughts aside and made myself be. Fast forward a few years and we are still here, but i am not babysitting and we are going to a different church. (you find out who your friends are when you leave a church and they stop talking to you) I find myself struggling day after day to be content to live here. I have a few friends here but non so close that i feel i can call up to meet for lunch or anything. With 2 kids now I struggle with not being able to just drop by my moms occassionally to give myself a break or go walking with my sister or drop off a blizzard just because. I always pictured myself living close enough to my parents that i could drop by. While i am thankful we are only 45 minutes away its just enough that i cant just go to go. I have to have a reason to, especially with gas prices now.
I got excited 2 summers ago when we decided to put our house for sale and move a bit closer. Then when it didnt sell and we ended up stay here i think it made it even harder to stay happy about living here. Dont get me wrong, i am thankful we can afford our house and i love it. The house is fine, the neighborhood scares me. I hate living in town with kids, i dont trust our neighbors, and i have nobody to call close if something would happen. And it scares me.
So if you think about it and you actually read this please keep me in your prayers. I try to put on a happy face but its really getting to me now. Pray Chadd finds a job and our house sells quickly when we are ready. I told Chadd the ideal situation would be if someone just came up to the house out of the blue and offered to buy the house for whatever amount we needed. He says i am nuts but i told him a girl can pray for that cant she? Weirder things have happened.